Why your value is worth more than you think.

This morning, after I got the beauty sleep I needed to function -- I live streamed church. I have heard about this church through my friend, Emilee, who ironically I went to middle school with years ago. Over the course of our lives that took separate paths, we lost touch. I think the irony here is that when I started noticing the ministry, The Lovely Project, which was founded at Northwestern Orlando Community church a few years ago -- I finally had the light bulb moment. This is the ministry that God has led me to where the sole purpose is to mentor, invest in the lives of and encourage/inspire the girls in our communities. I am now praying about how God wants me to get involved as this is the ministry I wish I had when I was growing up.

Sometimes there are messages that we listen to whether they are at church, on billboards, from our friends/family, or the news even that we know we needed to hear it for our own mental health. That was how I felt this morning while live streaming, and to my surprise, the pastor speaking was Dr. Crystal Evans, who is one of the pastors at Northwestern Orlando.


Her message filled me with encouragement and hope to be perfectly honest. I have been feeling so down lately as I've been having medical issues on top of my chronic congenital issues. Part of me has been angry at God as the congenital ones I did not sign up for and the ones that have happened in the last month -- I would have never wanted to face and confront them. Now I am seeing them in a different light. God knew that I would have to deal with this heartache and He still promises to hold me tight as I keep my trust and faith in His timing.

I really thought that my the time I was thirty, I would have at least two kids. I would be in the job I love, traveling the world and making lots more money.

While not all of these dreams are true, like the being rich at 30 and having kids, I am reminded that my worth in God is not only what I wanted for me, but what He has planned for me. It's about sharing what He has done in my life, keeping my faith in Him and remembering my value. He is going to reward us by In the world we live in, we're told that our worth and value is based off our jobs, our houses and how we prosper in society.

That's not how it is valued with Jesus. He values our worth by using it to help the lives of others who find themselves in the same situation. I know that while extended family and friends wonder when kids will be brought into the picture. I thought by now that kids would be in our lives but it's more important that I wait for His perfect timing.

So understand that your value isn't what car you drive or how much you make in a year. With Jesus, it's about how you give back and love your neighbor, how you live your life to impact the lives of others for Jesus, and lastly, investing your value in ways to glorify Him. <3

I've been wanting to get back into blogging and posting but after today's message about evangelism, and what this really means to me -- I wanted to share what's been on my heart and reflect on it.  Here's hoping your week is fantastic, full of good sleep and happy in all adventures you find yourself doing.

- Jess

Why setting G O A L S matters.

11pm where I live and I am inspired to write. Not the best timing considering I can't wait to hit the sack. But for the past 2 1/2 weeks - I am filled with absolute JOY! I am noticing it seeping in every area of my life because of one reason: GOALS.

Why are goals important? What important purpose do they serve?

These are questions I used to ponder last year. I've been on this weight loss journey for almost 3 years. It embarrasses me that in that time - I am not even close to my weight goal. But I was reminded of this important crucial reminder: 'Rome was NOT built in a day!' But I keep with it. I keep taking step after step and keep looking forward to the day I've been waiting for since I was a teenager. But I feel great because that day is slowing comin' around the mountain & here's why:

G O A L S.

There's that word again, y'all. After the holidays, I made the goal of not letting myself slip up to where I had. I gained 9 pounds during the holidays. I gave into the junk that I tried not getting in. But I am stronger, I feel it, more than ever. I do my research before I go out to eat. I look at every factor. I make deliberate choices. And I've set my goals.

So far this month - I've lost 5 lbs! I am so happy with this but I know its only a scratch on the surface, as I am still losing the holiday weight. I knew and have been working hard so as not to let that think it would be sticking around in my life. & it's NOT!

Here's a snapshot of the G O A L S I have made for myself.

* Last month - I promised myself & my parents that in Feb 2015 we'd be running a 5K together. This is my first 5K that I am training for. It's been rough at times going on longer distance runs but every time I finish my training session - I feel great. I feel empowered. I feel like those lies that I used to believe that I couldn't be a runner -- simply disappear. My first 5K is on Valentine's Day, I am running it with my parents & I couldn't be more excited!!! 

* I am going on vacay in the next few months, one is a staycation with my inlaws staying at my second home, Disney & the other is our 3rd Disney cruise! I really wanted to enjoy both so I've been working hard for the goal of losing 30 lbs by the latter. I am 5lbs down, so 25 lbs in a few months is definitely doable!

* My 4th wedding anniversary is in June. I want to lose 50 lbs. I want to celebrate the best day of my life with my best friend & feel great, while looking fabulous.

* This 5K is February is only a stepping stone. I want to do more races. I want to do a 10K in these next few months! I am going to keep training at night and working hard to run the entire 10k!

* Finishing my book. It's been a project that I keep claiming to work on. But I need to stop and just finish writing it.

* Work on my prototypes to start my new business. (Keeping the details a secret for now until it gets going but I am trying to involve my friends to incorporate them into parts of it. I am excited, regardless of how it goes!)

SO - why are G O A L S important? Because they help reach a milestone, short and simple. You put forth your hard work, dedication and you work at it, day and night. It becomes your biggest priority! Working out is different this time. I have big plans - I want to celebrate my life as the best version of myself. This is a lifestyle choice for me. I have no regrets and am not losing momentum any time soon.

Thanks for stopping by. & I hope this post gives you encouragement in the G O A L S you have in your life!
Tomorrow is Thursday, so the weekend is coming back!! :) :)

Why society's input doesn't matter. #dearladies

Hello, thanks for stopping by. Today is Monday so this means - another post in the #dearladies series - which every post on Mondays are for inspiring & encouraging every woman who reads my blog.

Everyday upon waking up - us ladies are bombarded with WHAT society demands us to be - from the brands of makeup/clothes, the type of car we drive, what we eat, who our friends are and how it is implied we have ZERO imput or freedom to be ourselves.

To which I say, LIARS! I also say (from a mountain): NO! 

The beautiful part of living in America period equals FREEDOM for individuality. Another part is that what society wants - no one really cares. Society wants -- no one really cares what they think. Sometimes it's implied we do in TV shows, news, magazines to be 'politically correct' but not really.

    

The truth is, as long as we're adults, we go to work & pay our bills so that we're the BEST responsible version of ourselves, it really doesn't matter if you rock 3 hair colors or combat boots with shorts. (I'd recommend not wearing to most interviews - but my two cents here).

Each of us living in a country where freedom is promised is allowed to express our individuality!

Plus, as Christian women - we have free will and opportunity to be ourselves because when God created EACH of us - He knit us together individually within our mothers. He created us in His image. 

Whether or not you're religious - know that God made us individually. We each have our talents, skills and qualities that make us "US." He didn't make and create us with a 'one size fits all approach." He created each of us with an open invitation to know and appreciate what makes us special. Sooo if you are like me and you fit into the following categories:

You love Target/Starbucks especially when they're combined simultaneously.

Really appreciate Netflix.

Slightly sarcastic at all times.

Love to coupon.

Could live at Target 365. 

But hey if you don't - more power to you! 

Remember: Everyone tries be like everyone else. Don't fall short and be in that crowd. Be you and no one else, they're all taken. And know that you're ABSOLUTELY beautiful and whenever society tries to give their unsolicited opinion, try these 3 ideas:

1. Laugh loudly! (if in public - you may get a few crazy looks but I say, go for it. I do it often!
2. I'm a Hilary Duff fan so why not do a crazy dance! haha (Video here)
3. Keep on being YOU! Find a way to appreciate this truth. Shop online. Take time to indulge yourself. 

Regardless what makes you shine and sparkle -- point blank: Whether or not you fit into society's standards, society doesn't apply to yours. In any way shape or form. This topic will be included heavier in my book that I am writing but I wanted to share what was on my heart now about this topic. :)

Thanks for stopping by. Tomorrow is a prime vital date in the history of my husband & I. Tomorrow I'll be reminscing from 5 years ago and why this date is forever etched into my mind/heart <3

~ Jessica

Staring my goals in the face.

May is a month of chapters in my life. It has been the month where chapters closed, followed by open windows of new ones emerging. This year is the 10th anniversary when all of my big dreams were birthed. I was celebrating my graduation from high school. I knew that moment on May 28th, 2004 that my life was truly about to start for real. No matter all the crappy cards that I had been dealt those four years, this part of my life was over and the real, better silver lining that my parents had told me about was ready to show itself.

After high school, I started the newer chapter of my life. I started college out of state, while I only stayed at that college for 18 months, it was a huge learning experience. I really understood myself - in terms of what I dislike, what I like and what I wanted to do with my life while in college. I moved back home with my parents and took a year to attend the local community college to get those gen ed's out of the way. It wasn't mentally challenging because the workload felt like an extension of high school but by the following January when I made the decision to stay in-state, I was able to transfer a lot of credits in. I started with education, but made the switch (I regret it now) to communications, which I do like my degree. 

I remember May 2nd, 2009. I had spent the night before prepping my hair so it'd be curly. My mom made me a dress that's sparkly and butterflies. It was a fantastic day to spend with friends & family. 6 weeks after I graduated, I met my now husband. I was involved in an internship that would prove to be heading nowhere. My now husband was finishing an internship at Disney in the College Program, and about to start his final semester at college. I was ready for an adventure, the kind that changes your life in an instant. That adventure was my now husband. I surprised my parents by announcing, hey I'm moving to Kansas. I moved into my first apartment, I got a job (that I loved!) and started grad school while being with the man I loved. I only was there for a year but in that time we knew what our goals were: we wanted to be together with many adventures. We wanted to finish our degrees, get married, buy a house, start a family & the list goes on. [Before I moved I had lost 25 lbs, and then when I moved on my own - I gained it back and some more.]

We're about to celebrate our third wedding anniversary. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. We've really accomplished a lot of FANTASTIC goals. We bought our first house six months after we got married, which our wedding gifts helped with our down payment. We both graduated with our graduate degrees, months apart last year. We've worked on our house and made significant improvements. Last year, we put a big dent towards our student loans before we were required and are on the way to being debt free down the road. 

Tonight - however was staring down my goals. I've mentioned this before but I've had hypothyroidism my entire life. This condition goes against weight loss, and its definitely been a struggle in my life. Two years ago when I started my weight loss journey for the sole purpose of getting healthy - I lost 40 lbs fast. Now, with my remaining 75 lbs to lose - its proving to be a challenge. But this month - I decided I needed to make time for my goals. I stare at them in the face, I count calories, I force myself to portion size my meals and I only allow myself two cheat days/week. I'm learning how to really tone down stress, its hurt me in reaching my goals. But tonight I started a new workout routine, 40 minutes of Zumba at the Expert level followed by Jillian Michaels. My goals are simple - my husband is ready to be a daddy and I really want to give that to him next fall. So, I had to step my goals up, and I am excited because I am ready to enjoy life more fully.

I was thinking of this post while working out and I felt like its important to share my goals from where I started until the present moment. My big goal right now is to just lose the weight, as close to 50 lbs by my birthday in October. I am celebrating my birthday at the beach and with friends/family but I'd really like to be able to buy a new bathing suit as a birthday gift to me. Living in Florida, I can always find a good bathing suit sale - so I am excited to meet the goal for myself. 

What about you? What are the goals you're staring at right now to accomplish? Big or small - know that you can do it! Every time it feels like too much - I quote both Philippians 4:13 & Jeremiah 29:11 over and over. 

              

Thank God tomorrow is Thursday! I'm so excited for the long holiday weekend ahead! See you back here tomorrow! ~ Jessica

Million dollar winner.

Remember in high school, or on a rainy day, you'd entertain the thought of 'What would I do with an (extra) million dollars? See, I've expanded on that thought today actually at work. If you don't win the lottery and you don't have an inheritance, how exactly do you encounter this million dollars exactly? Is it a check, or piles of twenties in a briefcase at a specific location? Do you know who is gifting you this rather large amount? As a woman who questions alot in her normal everyday life, no one could be surprised that when given this unexpected gift that I'd just take it. After all, there are so many creepers in the world who make even the slightest random acts of kindness aawwkward to the max.

But let's just go with it. If I were to stumble upon a briefcase of piles of twenties in the mall, on a Thursday @10am by a mysterious man in a suit. -- here is how I'd use it. Not to be boring but I have to consider two different scenarios. The first one being that I am still indebted to my student loans and basically my current circumstances.

First, after taxes, I'd take what I need and pay off three HUGE loans: both mine & my hubs' student loan debts in FULL. (Would love to watch SallieMae process this payment). & then my entire mortgage paid off in FULL too. -- gotta be responsible & honestly I am ready to pay these all off.

Secondly, I'd trade our car in and then purchase a 2014 Chevy Volt for myself. My husband is holding out for the self driving cars and I'd put the x amount in a savings account for him to buy the car he wants at the right time.

Thirdly, I'd pay for my own kitchen remodel. I've got my eye on a few things that I wish had come with my house originally but are on the 'house' bucket list so to speak.

Lastly, I'd put a chunk in our savings and the biggest chunk in my IRA. :)

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Now. the other scenario if I were to stumble upon this money in about 9 years when my student debt is paid off.

It'd be a shorter list. By this time, we'd have kids & ready to celebrate our first big anniversary, the 10th (close to it).

So I think it'd only be right if I helped us not only pay for the trip but with generous souvenir budgets.

Secondly, I'd pay off our mortgage in full & take care of any fix-it project regardless of the cost.

Thirdly, I'd take a look at what we're driving. Still want a Chevy Volt, its pricey but oh so worth it. ;)

Lastly, I'd split it between investing in my house, my savings and my IRA.

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Yeah -- I don't foresee a million dollars showing up on my porch. & even if I did, I don't feel spending it on a lavish lifestyle is worth it. I hear people all the time commenting that if they got rich, they'd retire. I'd be in a new tax bracket or five, but I grew up having to earn what I wanted. Even if I was given something, that made me want to work for it that much harder. I feel that if I were in this situation, I'd just keep working. It'd be nice to know that if anything drastic happened, I'd have a cushion but its a time old truth -- Money doesn't buy your happiness. It's up to YOU! :)

{jess}

come what may.

Sitting here on this Friday night, I feel like my head won't stop spinning. To be frank, this week wasn't the greatest or the most spectacular. I'm still waiting for news from Monday morning for an incredible opportunity that was so graciously extended my way. The last few days, I've been trying to give myself a few key pep talks in a variety of areas.

1st) This weight loss thing. Every time I fall off the wagon and make a few too many choices that result in the scale going up, I keep mentally scolding myself. Why? Because I am a lady and I tend to over-analyze. But honestly, with the frustration thrown my way from work lately -- I took that anger, unfairness and molded it into something powerful and fearless tonight. I finally did Zumba. Not as long as I wanted but I was kind of a super wife, prepped dinner & caught up on my favorite shows. But I learned that if I am going to lose this weight, I have to stop with the negativity and balance the good encouragement in. I've been searching for the spark and I think I found what I need to keep that burn alive, to make myself push hard and lose the weight. So, while I have 2 months left in the year, I am going to really work hard, and kick 2014 off with a bang.

I think its important that we stop remembering the negative and the positive. Women are so catty, and competitive in all the wrong contexts. It's rough knowing that there are so many women who feel that bad about themselves that you thought after middle/high school that you could replace them with really great people, but unfortunately for me -- I feel like all the mean girls I dealt with in middle and high school are mucking up the general population. I encounter people on a daily basis who act entitled, spend money like its the same oxygen they breathe and then turn around and treat me horrendously for no reason. I just feel like women need to forget the stress, not let these areas of weakness consume you and find an outlet to where you can keep being the fantastic woman you are. I know I am not the first woman to do it and not the last.. 

2) Dreams & Ambitions. For the longest time, and when I was growing up, I was blessed to have a Dad who loved me so much and made sure I knew it. He also prayed for me and as I got older, encouraged multiple conversations of what I wanted to do, what goals I had and what I wanted my life to turn out. (My Mom was equally incredible as my Dad).* Sometimes you just need people in your life who are willing to sit down and have a lengthy heart to heart. Everyone has passions and everyone has wants. I feel like its important to not only know yourself but to take those moments to really know what you have to offer and what you want to achieve in this life. One of my friends from college who tragically was killed in a car crash earlier this year, she was full of such wisdom and energy in her short life. One of the quotes I've seen over and over that she lived out -- was 'What will I do with this one and only life?' I encourage you to ask yourself this. Do you want to play it safe or do you want to get out and live?

3) Being that girl. That sounds pretty light and casual. But I know who I am, I have a voice, I am beautiful and I am blessed. I may not have the bank account of Donald Trump or the amazing closet of an A-list movie star. But I am writing my chapter(s) of success, romance, adventure and making fantastic memories as I go.  The best part about where I am in life is that my life is still being written -- everyday is a new adventure and I am  ready for the next chapter of starting my family. Until I get there, I have to help myself stay focused on the weight loss, my dreams & ambitions and no matter what -- being the best version of myself possible. :)

What things are you prepping yourself on? I'd love to hear from you. 

#doSOMETHING

HOORAY! The thing I love best about fall, honestly is  the fact that its about the best four months of the year. I love it because of the not so good reasons -- seasonal drinks @ Starbucks which I only indulge in twice, really make those cals worth it! I love the cooler weather which in FL it does happen -- when you're lucky ;) & its just that time of getting your family together because you just can and that makes me excited. There are many other reasons but I just finished working out 10 min ago so I am trying to keep this brief. (My mind works best after I work out in terms of blogging, kind of like when I used to have a planner & would cross off my to-do list).

So, the title of this post is #doSOMETHING which is my two day old fitness goal that I've challenged myself to. As much as I want to start our family -- I have to get my healthy, fit self back. Not just for my condition but because I just feel sooo good when I carve out the time for my best version of me. My challenge is basically that I want to stop making excuses (I'm too tired, takes too long, etc..) and just workout. All of September, I'm challenging myself to 30 min minimum. October 1st increases to 40 minutes. & so on.

Tonight I also did something great -- I re-faced MyFitnessPal. I held myself accountable and entered in all of my food/cardio/ab work and hopefully in 5 weeks -- I will be where they estimate. Secondly, I partnered with IdealShape for their 12 week challenge. This will help keep me focused, motivated and on track. Sometimes you just need a friend or a hundred ones who are on the course with you to keep you reminded of your goals and where YOU want to be.

Lastly, I just want to say a big THANK YOU to my amazing parents. I joke with them that I've definitely grown up when it comes to what I want for my birthday. When I was little - annually I'd ask for unrealistic gifts -- like a pony. My mom would smile but it never went that far.  But this year they surprised me with an early birthday gift -- new AMAZING running shoes from Saucony. We're talking hot pink shoes that just by looking at them -- fill me with JOY! This way I will be able to start walking/jogging and eventually break the I can't run chain -- and be a runner. I'd love to run a 10K next year and some day a half marathon.

My pretty new shoes! 

Other items I am interested in that my husband vaguely mentions he'll be taking care of -- 

the new Little Mermaid 3D & well my  birthday will be a Disney Cruise! 

I challenge you to make yourself a #doSOMETHING challenge even if its not related to fitness, maybe to spend less time on technology, take a hiatus from Twitter or Facebook or just find something you need to get done more. Either way, be BLESSED. -- J

Motivated & back on track.

Hello, lovelies!
Hope your week has started off much less stressful than mine. All I will say is I am glad tomorrow is Thursday. I feel like this work week has dragged on much slower than any other.

However -- I will say that I am finally getting back on track with my weight loss. Been blog-hopping per se to find different ways people are losing weight -- let's be honest, Pinterest gives me ideas but it also provides procrastination and zaps my time in other areas: Holidays, Home Decor, DIY projects and sometimes Food ;) So -- I'm back to Just Dance 4 and really excited to be off my plateau to lose 10% of my weight which is 24 lbs by Sept 30th. I've felt super motivated since being more intentional about my food choices, and holding myself accountable -- which is key for me.

3 reasons I've re-discovered my motivation is:

#1 & #2 are happening together -- the first is my BIG #28th birthday, which my husband makes fun of me because I get more excited about my birthday than most 5 year olds at Chuckie Cheese's :) This picture is of a previous birthday but it's a motivated picture because I want to be back at this weight by my 29th!

Secondly-- my husband & I are taking my birthday//much needed vacation to go on our first Disney cruise to the Bahamas :) We got a sneak peek of the ship last year. 

We had just a GREAT time on our first cruise for my last birthday that I cannot wait for 3 uninterrupted days with my husband and all things Disney! :)

Lastly, my bestie gets married in less than 3 months from now. That is insane how time has flown by. I cannot wait to watch her get married to her mister. Cannot wait to get my dress shopping on at Ross in November!

There you have it -- I'm back on track & it's been enjoyable thus far. Today at the office I got two compliments from coworkers which honestly made my day. It's great to be told how great you look after months of hard work & sacrifices. Plus with my hypothyroidism -- its not coming off the fastest but its coming off. 

Any tips or ideas are greatly appreciated. Time for #AGT! 

Not so GLEE ful.

By now, everyone has heard about the tragic death of Cory Monteith a mere 3 days ago.  My reaction, being that of a non celebrity influence, felt like I had been punched in the stomach repeatedly. Let me explain.

This post is about to get real based on the passing of Finn Hudson, aka Cory. Please don't read this as I am some kind of an obsessed fan.  That is not me whatsoever. I am one of the millions of Gleek fans that like most of the world are simply shocked by this news. Cory was one of my absolute favorite characters on Glee and it just feels like since I woke up Sunday morning to find out that he had passed away, that I lost a dear friend. Now since we found out that he had a drug problem, that's not up to me to judge because at the end of the day, he was a human being that just happened to make a fatal mistake.

I think the reason that this passing of Cory has hit me harder than I thought is that when I found out Sunday morning like the rest of the world, I cried. I truly felt like a friend was lost and one of the best. I'm proud to say that I've watched GLEE since the beginning because this show has impacted my life.

Allow me to explain and share a part of my past. When I grew up, even in elementary school, I was bullied. I did not look like the other girls in my class. I was taller, and by the 4th grade I was the only girl that I knew of that developed quite prematurely --- in 4th grade. I have never been a popular girl and I will not lie to you --- I struggled with that for a longer time than anyone would ever want to admit. I didn't have sky high confidence like I told myself I did. That being said. -- Shows like GLEE, Movies like The Princess Diaries were written for girls like me. They gave me motivation, inspiration and encouragement when I needed it most.  People disagree with me when I say this but Taylor Swift's earlier songs were ones I wish I had been able to write and ones that I relate to most because that's what I dealt with and faced alot.

I realize that when GLEE appeared on our TV's in 2009, I was 23. You might be thinking that's kind of older to be struggling with self confidence issues. I will say that I greatly appreciated the stories and the songs that the show has continued to share. The big reason that GLEE and this whole passing of Cory has pulled on my heart strings is that this show roots for the underdog just like that of The Princess Diaries. Characters from both were almost non-existent to the world around them but to that character having an opportunity be thrown to them where they can showcase their talents and finally be recognized for the true rockstars we've known they were this whole time --- THAT is why I appreciate GLEE so much.

Especially in a society where kids are having to grow up so much faster than when I was growing up. Kids these days who are 5 today, feel like with the media pressures from every angle may as well dress, talk, act like they're 18 tomorrow. Shows like GLEE are perfect for every young kid because of the underlying messages that kids need to understand with their own eyes and ears. *DISCLAIMER: Not every scene or relationship on this show is appropriate for all ages of children.*

With all of this said -- take a moment to hug everyone around you a little tighter today. You never know when your moment will come. #carpediem

&& lastly, I will miss you Finn this fall. Thank you for 4 wonderful seasons of GLEE where you taught us all to have faith in ourselves and faith in each other in spite of what makes us different.. #RIPCoryMonteith

Weight loss re-vamped

Hellooooo again!

I'm back after an unexpected hiatus :)

As mentioned on my Facebook, I re-vamped my weight loss journey. I want to be completely candid *to a degree* since this available on the internet but I don't everyone to know my business.

Last April I decided that I wanted to take the reins of my life back and lose weight. Fast forward to May 2013, I've successfully lost 40 lbs.

When I first started, I essentially had a 'Biggest Loser' weight loss journey to begin- to lose essentially a person's weight. I still have quite a bit left to go but now that my knee is not hurting anymore-- I am officially using BodyRock.TV as my workout regimen for the most part.

I've been killing myself, adding stress *therefore gaining a few lbs* by trying to lose weight and haven't really put in the work for it. SO I am starting over, its the start of something new (as a HSM fan, I had to say it!).

I am challenging myself for the next 6 mos to the end of the year to lose the rest of my weight. I know its not going to be easy but here is my story for those who graciously tell me that I don't really have that much to lose. *THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU!*

For the past 16 1/2 years, I have been carrying around all this extra weight. When my grandmother passed away from breast cancer, I was devastated as that was the biggest loss in my life. I didn't grieve in a healthy way and so all of my grief and emotions about her loss led me to food, I turned food into comfort and that's not healthy. I gained over the years too much weight and it breaks my heart to see pictures of me because deep down that's not who I am. The outer shell of myself has been weighed down (no pun intended) for all these years and I am tired of it. I want to have children sooner than later but I need to be healthy not only for myself but so that I am giving my future babies the most healthiest mother and most healthiest chance for a good life. 

So for the next three months I am challenging myself to really hold myself accountable of the food I eat, the choices I make to workout and how hard I want to be a healthier, fit version of myself. I've been on this journey for over a year and once I am back on track consistently, I am the happiest version of myself that everyone seems to notice. So, I invite you to stick around and to cheer me on as I lose this weight. I encourage you if you are thinking of shedding some pounds to go for it, it truly makes a difference in a variety of areas: you sleep better, you have more energy, you're not as stressed, you just enjoy life more when you're trying to work hard for something you want. Hard work pays off and I hope you'll stick around.

PART 2
The other news that I didn't share on Facebook & let's be frank, I don't think I want to share anymore on Facebook other than occasional updates because it just feels too crammed in and I don't feel like people respect me on there when I am sharing a huge part of me. So, from here on out- my updates, my check-ins, my pictures of progress will be on here.  Because I enjoy writing, so it makes it easier to transition into my other news.

I have a Kindle, which isn't news. Something that Amazon offers is the opportunity to independently publish with them. As in, ever since I was 16, I've wanted to write and publish my first book.- its been in the top 5 on my Bucket List. So, I am working on and developing my book which its main purpose and goal is to encourage women of all ages. Probably leaning more towards demographically 13-49, but you never know. Even if its not a bestseller in New York, this is my dream to publish my writing and I am really excited for the opportunity. I am still like I said developing my book and just started but as I have updates, I will be posting them here too.

Well, this one is going to enjoy watching more Bones *I'm addicted to this show!* & my workout on before the night ends. Tomorrow is the series finale of The Office, I've watched it since Day 1 so I know tomorrow night, I will be crying... in a good way. :)

Have a blessed night, and thanks in advance for your support and encouragement! :) ~Jessica

30 Things (pt 3)

Happy Sunday! Our plans were to originally spend time with family today but timing changed a bit. Last night I made my mom a cookie cake for her belated birthday party today :) She's not expecting it and I love surprising her this way for lunch!

Maybe two weeks ago, I wrote the original post of 30 Things and today I'll be continuing it with #15-21.

15) Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or when you fell in love: When I met Chris, he was literally weeks away from being done with the Disney College Program and we met on a Christian dating site. He told me that he'd be returning to finish up his last semester at college in KS in a month but that'd didn't matter to me. We got to know each other, talked every day and our first date was at Disney (perks of living in FL & he got in free) park-hopping with a few friends. There was just something about him that I caught early on. He has these amazing blue eyes and a smile that can make your knees buckle right away. But the chemistry we had from early on- I was immensely blessed I found someone this amazing- I had just graduated college 2-3 months prior. The day he left- he met my mom/sister for the first time and just being with him- I wasn't sure if I could handle months away until he came back. I drove him to the airport and when we kissed, it felt like part of me had disappeared. Two months later, I celebrated my birthday & moved half way across the country to be with him. The rest is history.

16) What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

Graduating with my Bachelor's in May '09.

Getting married in June 2011.

Buying our first house in Dec '11.

Paid off our car loan 18 mos early in 2012. 

Graduating with my Master's in April '13.

17) What is thing you wish the most you were great at? Art. I draw stick figures, I try to get inspired when I'm @ JoAnn's or Michaels and look at all the different areas of art but I'm just not blessed to be talented like my sis in law who is an amazing artist.

18) What do you think your spouse loves most about you?

He's told me before & there's a long list but at the top- its a 50/50 thing with my big brown eyes and my smile. There's no clear winner between the two. 

19) How did you feel when you became a parent? This will be answered hopefully Spring 2014. Until then, I have two dogs and that's the closest I am to a parent. When we got our first, Coco- I wanted to make sure that I did everything I could to keep her healthy and safe, but enjoying life (as much as a dog can).

20) Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood. The first would be when my grandma passed away when I was 11 from a long battle with breast cancer. She & I were very, very close so her death really impacted me. I remember saying goodbye and   it just hurt for a very, very, very long time. The second was when my sister was born when I was 14. I remember holding her for the first time and just excited to see who she'd become. Update: She's almost a teenager! The third would be: too painful to talk about, sorry. Just know that bullying is real and it does impact people's lives and mentality. 

21) Describe your relationship with your parents. Welp, I know that if It was 10 years ago, I'd be 17 and I'd give a typical answer. Thankfully its 2013, I'm 27 and those past days are very much behind us. My parents and I are very, very close now which I am so so SO thankful and happy for. I enjoy spending time with my family and I know that my best interest is always on their minds. We've come a long way & I know they've always got my back. 

Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. Now that my knee isn't bothering me, time to work out. I have my first 5k this coming Saturday and I really want to do well :) My LAST MBA class starts Wednesday, praise the Lord!  ~Jessica

30 things

If you follow me on Pinterest, you know that I love LOVE to pin a smorgasbord of topics from food I want to cook, fashion ideas, baby shower ideas & also for my future kids. Hopefully that last train will start this Christmas (fingers crossed!)

One of the pins I found (on my lunch break at work) was 30 things my kids should now about me.

I just now got a chance to really look at it and for someone who doesn't have kids yet- I think its important to have this info handy so that when we welcome our first, second, etc-- they will know more about us than we are their parents.  Plus its just good info to know overall- who knows maybe a family tradition to start!

Here we go. {I will be completing quite a few for the next week, or two. One day I will print them in a book for my kids.}

1) List 20 random facts about yourself.
a) I was a Miss South Carolina finalist.
b) When I was little, I wanted to start a band named Skittles.
c) My parents told me that had I been a boy, I'd been named Clay.
d) My first blog was on Xanga after high school.
e) I associate with my personality to that of Lorelai Gilmore.
f) If you look closely at my grandma, my mom & my pinkies- they all curve in on both hands.
g) I only let myself have Coldstone once a year (or twice if we feel generous).
h) I dyed my hair blonde on a whim and it took 13 hrs.
i) I have to have music playing all day or I get a migraine.
j) I once evacuated a hotel on a youth retreat.
k) For my 30th birthday, I'm making myself a cake boss cake.
l) I met my husband online (& I'm perfectly content with this).
m) I've coupon-ed since I was 17.
n) When I was younger, I used to put dryer sheets on my pillow to sleep.
o) Every night, I put on baby night time lotion to fall asleep.
p) Every time I watch DC Cupcakes, I brainstorm cakes for friends' birthdays. One day I'll make one.
q)  When I was a girl scout- (thanks to my dad)-- I sold 300 boxes as a Brownie.
r) When I need a good swim, my husband & I take a swim at a Disney hotel ;)
s) I wasn't introduced to my love of queso until Spring 2010 in grad school. ;)
t) After every (major) holiday, my hubby & I stock up decor/holiday items. Kinda cute, eh? :)

2) Describe 3 legitimate fears & how they became fears.
a) Spiders- think its quite clear. They're gross. Just seeing one makes me want to be sick :(
b) Heights- when I get too high up, I get lightheaded and fail I will faint.
c) Broccoli- Every time I've ever eaten it-- I gag. It could be good but I just cant stomach it.

3) Describe your relationship with your spouse.: As I mentioned I met my husband on a non well known website about two months after I graduated college. When we talked, I found my better half & genuine best friend. Every time he looks at me, I feel giddy. He knows me so well-- can easily make any thing better. He gives the best hugs & kisses. We work as a team and we know what our goals are & what we need to do to achieve them. I could easily write a book on this one. Baha he makes me laugh.

Our first cruise. Fall 2012

4) List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could: 
-Don't be mad at mom, she's not the one with an attitude. It's all you.
-Not all things are worth getting upset about.
-Having a boyfriend isn't the key to happiness.
-Eating your feelings is sO not worth it.
-The popular girls won't always be #1.
-Only give people your time and friendship when they are willing to do the same. 
-You are loved no matter what.
-Mom & Dad only have your best interest in my mind, keep them on your side.
-It's okay to be different inside & out. 
-Laugh more!

5) What are the 5 things that would make you the happiest right now?
-If my student loans were mysteriously paid off in full.
-If I could miraculously lose the remaining 85 lbs overnight.
-If my teeth could be as perfect as a models.
-Having more money in my account.
-A much nicer car!

6) If you could have three wishes- what would you wish for? *Better neighbors, fudge, a Jacuzzi in my backyard.

7) What is your dream job & why? There's a 50/50 on this. Wish I'd stuck with education in college so I'd be that second grade teacher I wanted to be. Or to be a counselor/therapist. Basically I want to make a lifetime of difference for others and feel I have genuinely impacted a life for the better. 

There are many more but I'll pick up with the next few tomorrow. 

Fab Friday

Today I want to talk about these FAB things:

1. I get the entire weekend with my sisters ! I get so busy and I don't have girl time with them so its nice to have that for a few days. 

2. Weighed myself on Tuesday & I was down 3 pounds this week, hoping I've lost some more since then.

3.  My Girl Scout cookies are on their way! (yes, this is plural)

4. I'll be partnering up with my Pampered Chef team for a bridal event here in Central Florida, time to talk to brides to be and hopefully generate more leads/bookings.

5.  I feel really great, the weight loss is coming off & its made me feel amazing/confident of my future.

6. Final grade for my second to last grad class: 97. Extra benefit of working ahead: I get 3 wks to relax before starting my last one. Not thrilled about the topic but ready to graduate with my Master's :)

Hope you all have a FAB week, & I will probably add more to this when I'm not so tired..

Memories.

One Tree Hill has the best quotes.

Next Thursday is already Valentine's Day. Now that I'm happily married, it really doesn't phase me. I do remember growing up in elementary school and the excitement of buying the cute Valentine's to give to all my friends in our special Valentine's boxes. 

And I remember being in college. single and I was pretty excited that my mom sent me a Valentine's note encouraging me that just because I didn't have a 'Valentine' that particular day to buy me roses or chocolate that it didn't mean God loved me any less. In fact, she encouraged me to stay strong and be the person I am despite. Glad I have a wonderful mother/best friend in my life.  

Now that I am grown, I get to do Valentine's for my friends/bosses at work and I found a cute idea with Rice Krispies. I'm also going to make them for my hubby's team just for him to get extra brownie points. 

His wish for Valentine's day is that I make him chocolate mint fudge: pretty easy to please, that one.. He's not big on cards so I have to oblige. 

Any one doing anything special for Valentine's? Or any past memories from Valentine's that you'd like to share? 

See you tomorrow for So What, Wednesday with Shannon @ Life After I Dew :)

Mind overload.

Today wasn't my best day but thankfully I'm feeling better than when I got home from work last night.

I think I am going to start opening up my posts with encouraging scripture (to help keep me positive) & quote of someone whose achieved greatness. I feel like its helpful to share other perspective as no matter how bad my day is or whatever my thought process is--  it's important to be positive.

So, ever since I was in high school, one of my favorite verses in the world has been Proverbs 16:3.

Put God in charge of your work & what you have planned will take place. (The Message)

Sooo.. My mind has been feeling a bit of overload lately. So, I am just gonna unpack my head and talk through it all.

First, my husband feels I am starting to hoard. A few weeks ago, my parents brought some more of my stuff over to our house so that I could go through it and decide if I wanted it. One of those items was one of my favorite items from childhood: my dollhouse that I got as a little girl. When I grew up, I wanted to keep it and give it to my future daughters. This morning, my husband reminded me that most kids want new stuff and won't care about sentimental things. So, now I am torn what to do. Any ideas would be great.

Secondly, I am thankful for my job but its not what I went to college for. I realize that unless your a teacher, doctor, lawyer, etc-- that you could be in this boat too. Everywhere around me people in my life are working at something they are somewhat passionate about. I am passionate about writing but my day job is verifying/packaging financial aid. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful (especially in this economy) to have a job. But I just wish I was in a job that made me feel like I am accomplishing something big. April 2013 is when I graduate with my Master's & I just want to use it to be the best version of myself.

Thirdly, a few years ago, I had an accident at WalMart that involved slipping in a puddle and slamming my head against a door in the frozen food section. I also hurt my knee in the process, and every once in awhile, the pain comes back. This week its back when I am trying to wrap up my January with a big amt of pounds lost.

Fourthly-  Since my husband & I have seriously started talking about trying for our first baby, it just so happens my alternative home, Target is having their baby clearance sale & I'm also keeping Craigslist/garage sales on my mind. This is my first kid & since I've had hypothyroidism my whole life, I am just trying to stay positive and know that my first baby is going to come and change my life. I'm sure this is nervous for a 20 something lady to be nervous but I'm just ready to have a baby but to get pregnant, I have to be the best version of myself & finally lose the weight I've dealt with since I was 11.

On top of these 4 big things on my mind comes the typical thoughts of ... 'boy, my house feels really messy!' 'Boy, I am so ready to be healthy.' I've never been a runner but I am determined to change that. I am tired of telling myself I can't. March 2nd, I am changing that. I am running the Central Florida Children's 5k that my dad so graciously registered me for.

That's not all, I am determined to start training and working up to a 15 minute mile to run with my family at the OUC Half Marathon in Downtown Orlando this December.. :) & then Jan 2014- my first Color Run with my best friends.

So, I felt I wanted to encourage myself knowing that I am not gonna tell myself - I can't run and that I am going to be the best version of myself. I am going to jog/run in 3 runs. & I am going to lose the remaining 85 lbs by my birthday on 10/3.

Hope you all have an incredible week. Any tips or suggestions, feel free to send them my way.