Perceptions don't HAVE to define you. #DearWomen

Yay for Mondays. This is a short work week for me and I am excited to get Thanksgiving started. :) Not sure if you've been there lately but Target is decked out for Christmas and I love it. There is so much I want to buy - my husband practically can't leave me alone in the store because I could easily be found with two carts brimming. ;)

But today, ladies, I want to encourage you by letting you know that:

#1) People have opinions + they are entitled to them. 

#2) You may not always like or enjoy these opinions. 

#3) NO MATTER WHAT - if their opinions are about you --

 they DO NOT have to define you in any way, shape or form. 

This weekend, while my husband was at the dentist, I was stocking up on BOGO's at Publix. I don't go there often & every store is laid out differently, so I will be that person who appears to be having a full blown convo out loud trying to figure out where they put different items. I was walking down the main aisle in the back at the same time this woman walked by me, looked me in the eyes and called me a 'stripper.' 

Now, at the time I was a tad offended because this was a random stranger. Long ago, this type of event happened all the time but its been 2 years since and it made me sad that someone would say that period, and to a person they don't know. But later on - it made me laugh. I let it roll of my back and I said a prayer to God thanking Him for knowing my worth + identity in Him is completely different and awesome.

Just because this woman decided to make her opinion of me known - doesn't mean I let it impact my life for the long term. What she said has no long term dent on me or who I am. 

I didn't have the best time in high school or middle school. I was bullied alot. People said and did lots of horrible things to me which hurt for a long time. After I while, I honestly got to the point where I was just like - this isn't doing anything for me to hold on to what they think of me - that is just THEIR opinion of me, their perception but it was FALSE. 

While I wish they had chosen to get to know me - that was what they wrote in my yearbook every year for 6+ years " dear jessie, it was great getting to know you this year"- they didn't know me and enjoyed making me feel uncomfortable about things out of my control that I couldn't change. 

Maybe you've been in my shoes, whether you were 13 or 33. Maybe it's someone at work who likes to stir up catty drama with you. Maybe its a mom at your son/daughter's school. Maybe it's someone whose been your friend for years and something happened. Regardless of the situation, I pray that you will know your worth. 

Whatever anyone says that isn't true - just take a note from Taylor Swift + SHAKE IT OFF! Don't let lies or footholds in your life from other situations hold any meaning - they have none. You're incredible + created by Jesus who loves you just the way you are. 

Hope you have an incredible week! ~ Jessica

Why it's important to go off the grid. #dearladies

Happy Monday, friends. Today I am sharing another post in my #dearladies series which happens EVERY single Monday for the sole purpose of not letting the joy of Monday shake us, as well as inspiring + encouraging women.

Maybe you can empathize or possibly relate with me on this one. Social media is a powerful tool for businesses and for you + me in our everyday lives. It captures our weekends, memories we don't want to forget and well our blogs (if you so happen to have one.)  But sometimes it gets to be too much to keep up with. It is constant. It is always refreshed and sometimes you go on there for a few minutes but before you know it - you get distracted. You could end up spending hours or all day on the social media sites. Don't you miss the 90's when we didn't have this much technology that sometimes clogs up our lives too much?

When did you first get into social media? Did you get into it because you had heard about it from a friend?  I heard about Facebook when I was attending college locally. I would see other students log in, and due to my non existent car situation (I rode the bus everywhere), I would people watch and see these people's lives become consumed by a website. (Please note: This was my first impression of this website - in 2006.)

I don't want to come off seeming that technology hasn't changed my life for the better. When I moved around a bunch, I didn't have any way to keep in touch with friends/family other than traditional snail mail. Which when you're seven - you're not exactly breaking bank at all to pay for postage or know where your friends live - in the 90's. When I was older, it enabled me a way to look for jobs after high school/college/grad school, to find my first apartment and eventually to meet my husband.

But when does it become too much? The answer to that is up to you, my friend. For me personally, I have a personal preference of when I go on certain sites. I use some to post my blog links. I use one for pictures. I use this site for my blogs. I check email. But I've dialed my use of technology back. I refuse to let it consume my life. I changed the setting on my phone to where I don't want notification of when I get messages/anything on my sites so that I feel like my phone is blowing up constantly or my life is interrupted by non essential things. I also don't use it if I am at date night or with family.

So I've come to the realization or the epiphany that while there are some pretty cool items out there - I am perfectly okay with going off the grid mostly (internet/techy speaking). There are days when I keep my phone on vibrate in my room and I don't bother with it. I will listen to my Pandora and just start writing or watch Netflix but there is just so much more to life than watching social media like a hawk.


Spend time with family/friends. Go to a coffee shop, the beach, theme park, etc. Scrapbook. This weekend I went off the grid completely. I literally deep cleaned my kitchen for 3 hours. Pulling our pans/pots and the like out of cabinets, cleaning the cabinets & sanitizing while finally organizing everything. I slept better and I couldn't care less what was happening on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or anything because my kitchen looked great and that was the big important part to me.

How has technology changed your life? Do you have days or time blocked out to go off the grid? Thanks for stopping by. Hope your Monday is going well. :) ~ Jessica

Dear Ladies, WE are good enough!

Happy Saturday! Honestly, I have been thinking about this post for months on end. I've been hearing a lot and reading alot of news where it feels like it keeps circling back to women questioning their worth whether its in a relationship, lack of self confidence, or both. To that I say, I've been in your shoes.

Let's take a beautiful walk down memory lane, shall we?

Long ago, when I was a teen, I was in the same boat as these women. Even on my best days, I didn't feel confident. I knew that being raised in the church and by my awesome family, that I was loved and capable of anything I set my mind too. It's a tad bit different when you don't believe that yourself. I used to memorize scripture passages for the sole purpose of encouragement. To this day, that comes in handy on a bad day. But I could quote those passages with my eyes closed & in my sleep. But did they encourage me deep down and make me feel like I was Miss Confident? Not all the time.

I realize that every lady is different. Everyone has had different circumstances in their lives, they've made the choices that has shaped and transformed them into who they are TODAY. I get it, I do because again, I am in the same boat and can relate. Every choice, thought, smile/frown, what I say has a positive or negative reaction that will have a long term effect on my life whether or not I recognize it.

But we as women need to stop either playing the victim card or trying to hide from being the confident, charming, awesome, talented women we are every second of the day. Regardless if we're not living up to our true potential or we're in the process of doing so, we have to stop letting other people dictate our joy and living our lives.

I know its easier said than done to stick up a few quotes and instantly force people to believe in themselves but at the same time, I love finding quotes to inspire & encourage. This is my mantra in life & it is the sole purpose of the book I've been writing to publish women at any stage of their lives.

So, ladies. Regardless if you're single, dating, been married for twenty years - each one of is incredibly awesome in our own distinctive way. Take time to know yourself and read up on what God thinks of you because regardless of what others see, He created you + looks at your heart, not on the materialistic things everyone else does. Be positive.. and like my dad told me growing up, 'Dream Big :)' You are meant for greatness even if you don't see it.

Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy your weekend. Time to spend time with my favorite at my home away from home.. :) **

                         

                          

              

my next great adventure.

Happy April 1st, friends :)

I have had six new chapter inspirations these past 6 weeks for my book which has been great because for months before that, I had some cray intense writer's block. My latest and greatest one is living a life of adventure. Basically, I'd really like to meet some ladies who've either taken a huge leap of faith, or risk (however you'd like to word it) to include in my book. I have a few individuals but I'd also like to get some fresh perspective.

If you could encourage teen girls/ladies your age to live adventurously -  how would you advise them? 

Like would you encourage them to take up culinary school if they've loved to bake since their Easy Bake Oven days. Or move to LA and pursue acting (like how Emma Stone did it and prevailed?)

Essentially what is living a great adventure mean to you? 

Or what has been your greatest adventures thus far?

Basically, my book is meant to inspire and encourage teen girls//young ladies. I've had my share of experiences, both good and bad that I feel could encourage and inspire ladies of all ages. My goal is to share my past experiences in the hope that I can prevent some of the bad that I went through. It's coming along quite nicely and I love the motivation that just hits me, whether I am at work or getting my Zumba on (both have happened lately).

Feel free to email me directly at jessica_whitney@hotmail.com or comment. I'd love to be able to incorporate your stories into my book and have the opportunity to befriend some new bloggers.

Thank you in advance! ~ J

Ps. I am already excited for Disney this Saturday 

& having a date w. my dad on Sunday afternoon. 

April Goals. & March Recap.

Happy Monday, friends! :)

I am so glad its finally April. April just makes me want to sing, like Giselle in Enchanted. You know where she takes McDreamy (I don't find him that cute) out singing, dancing with everyone & their mother in New York. 

You know kiiind of like this:

I bet you know this song more than you'd like to admit. Everytime I watch this movie, with my family, I hear this song for about a week. It's not too long before I am singing along. 

But I feel pretty good about this coming month. I didn't get too fancy with my ambitions. I kept it simple about what I want to do to get me where I need to be - losing the weight. 

1. Work out daily. (Monitor my Treat Yo Self moments.)/Train for 10K (my first one in December).

2. Indulge twice a week. Truly.

3. Beach getaways (we live so close - why not.)

4. Brainstorm and write my book often.

5. Scrapbooking my cruises - finish my first & start on my second.

Although I will say I am proud of the work I did this month. I really felt it was an overall productive month.

In recap:

1) Enjoy my husband's birthday next weekend. I am a big birthday person. I already have his gift but I cannot wait to enjoy his birthday with him for a few days after he took good care of me after my surgery last month.  Definitely feel like he had the best birthday. He was on a Disney cruise in their private island. They provided us an incredible BBQ while we were there and he relaxed in paradise. He celebrated basically the entire cruise. I gave him his two Despicable Me shirts when we came home the next day & he loved both :) 

2) Do something fun for St. Patrick's Day. Even if it's as simple as Shamrock Shakes ;)  I wore green to work and we went out to dinner which was good enough for me. 

3) Get my Yoga/Pilates/Zumba back on - to look good. I did it once but I did get it back on. 

4) Get my beach pass. Already excited for that to pay itself off.  Thanks to my awesome in-laws, we're able to fund our beach pass with his birthday money. Hooray! We'll be getting it soon too. 

5) Work hard to make my house look great on the outside/inside. Lowe's officially knows our name over here. We have an off again, on again relationsihp every other month. I finally put up our pictures, and the awesome collage I scored at Kohl's..  My husband & I added our own personality and it looks fantastic. 

6) Spend more time being creative.  I printed off my cruise pictures and this one goes hand in hand with #5. 

7) Take more 'me time' .. - Sadly, this didn't happen. 

8) Plan more cheap dates with my mister!  Thank God for BOGO's in our entertainment book & cheaper Groupon deals. Huzzah. 

Overall a great month. & I know April will  be truly fantastic. 

Hopefully none of you gets pranked. ~ Jessica

Five for Friday!

Happy Friday, friends! :)

 

This has been honestly an insane week. While I am pretty psyched its Friday, its not a real Friday since I work tomorrow. But I digress - it's time for my second Five on Friday post to link up with all y'all. 

1) As previously mentioned on my blog, I am in the process of writing my first book, well ebook through Amazon. I was brainstorming ideas and came up with a chapter that I hadn't even thought of inspired by my recent surgery. I am now recruiting individuals who would be interested in reading my chapters for grammatical errors and overall flow - if you're interested feel free to contact me at jessica_whitney@hotmail.com .. (Thanks in advance, my goal is to hopefully publish by the end of December 2014.)

2) There is something fantastic truly about receiving packages in the mail even when you know they're coming. Waited an extra week for my pictures but it was worth it - they are beautiful!

 

3) This has felt like the world's longest week and this is how I chose to greet my Friday. Arby's Mint Chocolate shake.

4) Thanks to giftcards - I was able to score two new gorgeous Target maxi skirts for only $2.17 out of pocket. Cannot wait to rock these out. 

 

5) I finally got back to working out this week. I am definitely getting back to it and my motivation is refueled. I've been hearing alot about Daily Burn and I am curious if it's worth it. But this year is my 10 year reunion from HS. & my wedding anniversary is coming up in June so I want to look good for both. 

I heard on the radio that on Saturday only - Old Navy is having a tanktop sale for $2 each (limit 5) in store only. I know what I'll be doing after work. Been wanting new tanktops lately especially with my new maxi skirts on the way! Have a fantastic weekend! I'm thinking maybe the beach & a few Pina Coladas myself! ~ jessica

TGBTL: Fave photo.

Happy Wednesday, loves. 

Today is my last day at home before returning to work from having surgery.

Every week I post and link up with two fantastic ladies, Hayley & Lauren for Girl Between the Lines. Last week I went pretty topic heavy with my free week of no prompt & wrote about something I am pretty passionate about. I feel like women need to be inspired to not only be their best but to overcome their past and their fears. Every woman has a story and experiences that deserve to be in the spotlight. Technology helps us accomplish big things in society but sometimes it has the impression on women that we need to change ourselves - and match the mold that celebrities are expected to maintain and uphold. This is a post that I want to expand on and will be included in my book - if you're interested in sharing your story, I'd love to hear from you.

This week for my link up - the prompt is to share my favorite photo and the story behind it. 

These are very recent pictures that I wanted to share that are easily my new pictures. These are from my work Christmas party in December. I usually invite and share the party festivities with my parents. This year my company decided to make pictures even more entertaining. My husband & I smiled big together & then had a group shot. The latter shot made me giggle when I see it because we have this vibe that we're dancing - gettin our moves on. 

I absolutely love my family and the time I spend with them. These pictures showcase my hard work to lose weight. When I was at the party, you couldn't wipe the smile and overall happiness off my face for anything. I am so happy and I love pictures of me when I can't help but smile because I know that I am over the moon happy. Goosebumps.

Thanks for stopping by. Here is some encouragement for YOU!

TGBTL: Dear Women, you're beautiful. Your size doesn't define you.

Happy Wednesday, loves. 

Today on my weekly Girl Between the Lines linkup - its a free week with no prompt. Lately in my thoughts outside of work, life, my blog - I have just been using all my free time to work on my book. I thought this would be a great time to recruit those interested in sharing their experiences or thoughts for it. 

Right now - my big chapter that I am working on has to do with self image and self confidence. Myself, I am a bigger girl. I always have been and in the past year have really been working hard to change my outlook on food. Food used to be my comfort. If I had a bad day, I ate. If I had a good day, I ate. This is no longer the case but I understand that there are many women who still associate food with feelings. My main motivation behind this book is that I would like to encourage girls who don't fit under the mold that America puts on women to be a certain weight, a certain size and overall a certain type of woman. 

This doesn't apply to women who sign up to be models, or in a career like acting that you have to maintain a certain shape or health level. These women are you and me. We're wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, and at the end of the day - women who all have feelings and emotions. 

This is something I am writing about in a current chapter but not something I have blogged about. 

When I was in college, I actually spent time researching this because in my opinion, it continues to get out of hand whether its a celebrity or just an average Jane. There are quite a few things that I have noticed that have started to happen.

1) Little girls are starting to become more insecure early: I can relate because when I was in third grade, I started wearing a training bra. My body developed really, really early. When I was little like that, it was a curse but God had His reasons when He created me the way He did. Little girls start feeling self conscious and feel the need to experiment with makeup way too early and it doesn't help that little girls are just way meaner these days.

2) Teenagers feel this pressure on a minute to minute basis (in my opinion). My teen years were hard. I cannot imagine being a teen in our society today. I pray for these girls hourly. Girls are just plain mean and we hear alot more about bullying whether online or in person with the amount of girls who commit suicide over comments or boys. Secondly, teens feel the need to starve themselves to fit into these clothes or for the popularity factor & be considered cool.

I am a big One Tree Hill fan. Season 7, Sophia Bush's character, Brooke Davis who runs a clothing store on the show 'Clothes over Bros' and in their fashion show made the 'Zero is not a size' campaign. Luckily, this didn't just stay on TV - Sophia made a point of this and how important it is that we don't have to be a size zero to be beautiful. Aeropostale had been making shirts for girls/women to encourage starvation and I am so glad there are actors like Sophia Bush out there. I miss seeing her on OTH but women are beautiful and size has nothing to do with it. This whole case will be written more in my book but if you'd like to read more about it - click here. 

3) College ladies or adult women feel this pressure also minute to minute. Makeup, perfect bodies, and the extremes that they go to - plastic surgery, eating disorders, being obsessed to be thin instead of fit and healthy. I mean look at the magazine covers with the constant use of Photoshop - the desire for perfection and not having any blemishes shown to the public just makes you look less human. I have dark circles, a few pimples here and there but overall I don't feel like I need to change my body to be a perfect woman. 

If you have experience in any of this, and would like the opportunity to possibly be included in my book, feel free to email me directly at jessica_whitney@hotmail.com. We can make it anonymous or you can get your story out there in this chapter. Whether its your feelings about this topic, your firsthand experience or how your perspective has changed your mindset. All women are beautiful and deserve to feel this way all the time despite their weight, size or hair color. 

Be You, Be Beautiful.

Happy Thursday, friends :) These past few days I have been having all these ideas for my book shindig run through my head and all sorts of other ideas that really don't take precedence just yet ;)

Today I am jamming out to 'Roar' by Katy Perry on my iPod and its literally on repeat, much to the likes of my coworkers but this is my jam. I remember when I first heard this song on the radio and it seemed like another Katy Perry song - something cute but it didn't really impact me. Though since all radio stations seem to overplay music, I was hearing it all the time and the more I heard it - the more I needed it on my iPod.

Some of the lines in this song have really made me smile because I relate to them so well.

'I went from zero to my own hero.' 'I am a champion and you're going to hear me roar.'

When I tell people that I am writing a book - they kind of give me this judgy smile like as if to say 'What could you possibly have to say?' Like they judge me before they've even read anything I have to say. It bothers me sometimes because this book is my pride and joy. I started working on it in 2006. It's been kind of pushed around for these last few years because I've been in transition whether it was switching colleges, moving to Kansas, falling in love with my mister and all sorts of other fun things. '

But now that I am settled - I am ready to write and let my inspiration be used to benefit the lives of teen girls/college girls/adult girls around me. The main reason I am writing a book is that I strongly believe from my countless experiences, both positive and negative that my voice is important and worth sharing it for the opportunity to encourage ladies who may find themselves in the same situation(s) that I did while growing up. I dealt with alot of tears in my formative years from boys, being bullied, mean girls, the whole weight thing and I just strongly believe that if I can share my experiences to be able to prevent even 1 girl somewhere from having to deal with unnecessary pain and frustration than I will feel greatly accomplished.

I am excited for this process and all that will possibly happen in terms of future opportunities by doing this. Writing has always been a therapeutic outlet for me and I believe that there could be doors that open for me in publishing this book.

For those who have had their hearts broken, or have had their own experiences I would love to talk more with you about this. I want to talk to you, and when more chapters are in process find individuals who're interested in sharing to potentially end up being included in my book.

Be You, Be Beautiful will be discussed in my book and I am interested in hearing what you think of this saying in your own life - whether its about you, how its helped you overcome past difficulties or how you would encourage other ladies with this in your own way. (Loaded question, I know!)

Thanks for stopping by! :)

Day #2 of #beingThankful

Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend thus far. This am, I was able to sleep in -- always feels nice when Friday night & I don't have to set an alarm. Not even sure what time it was when I got out of bed but mornings like this make me appreciative that we're still a year away from starting our family. Granted, I know that when my nephew was born two years ago, after I waited in line (trust me, it was a loooong line) and got to hold that gorgeous little boy -- time stood still. I got to feed him a bottle & while I was tired, I didn't care. When that moment comes for me -- I will gladly be sleep deprived because the second I blink -- they will be much older.

Anywho -- Day #2 of being thankful. I am thankful for my beautiful house. Six months after we got hitched, we were able to use our wedding gifts outside of a cramped apartment & bought our amazing house. While we think the previous owners were a tad on the cray side -- they ripped out light fixtures, shelving, and had painted the upstairs hallway a dark teal. Our downstairs living room was a bright yellow. They definitely fueled our motivation to change all of these things in our home. The Home Depot & Lowe's by our house recognize us for good reasons. We've googled & Youtube-d demos on learning how to do various tasks around the house.

We are so blessed to live where we are. I don't always love our neighbors but slowly & surely we're making our house into the home we want. I am finding a lot of different Pinterest ideas & I am finding a lot of creativity within Target. I will say that my marriage & buying our first home together has taught me alot. Growing up, I was used to my parents' decor styles at their house & obviously my husband was accustomed to his. Merging these two very different tastes has been hard. i really like pictures hanging up & different plaques. He likes bare walls. I definitely have my work cut out for me & there is a lot of compromise.

{jess}

Weight loss re-vamped

Hellooooo again!

I'm back after an unexpected hiatus :)

As mentioned on my Facebook, I re-vamped my weight loss journey. I want to be completely candid *to a degree* since this available on the internet but I don't everyone to know my business.

Last April I decided that I wanted to take the reins of my life back and lose weight. Fast forward to May 2013, I've successfully lost 40 lbs.

When I first started, I essentially had a 'Biggest Loser' weight loss journey to begin- to lose essentially a person's weight. I still have quite a bit left to go but now that my knee is not hurting anymore-- I am officially using BodyRock.TV as my workout regimen for the most part.

I've been killing myself, adding stress *therefore gaining a few lbs* by trying to lose weight and haven't really put in the work for it. SO I am starting over, its the start of something new (as a HSM fan, I had to say it!).

I am challenging myself for the next 6 mos to the end of the year to lose the rest of my weight. I know its not going to be easy but here is my story for those who graciously tell me that I don't really have that much to lose. *THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU!*

For the past 16 1/2 years, I have been carrying around all this extra weight. When my grandmother passed away from breast cancer, I was devastated as that was the biggest loss in my life. I didn't grieve in a healthy way and so all of my grief and emotions about her loss led me to food, I turned food into comfort and that's not healthy. I gained over the years too much weight and it breaks my heart to see pictures of me because deep down that's not who I am. The outer shell of myself has been weighed down (no pun intended) for all these years and I am tired of it. I want to have children sooner than later but I need to be healthy not only for myself but so that I am giving my future babies the most healthiest mother and most healthiest chance for a good life. 

So for the next three months I am challenging myself to really hold myself accountable of the food I eat, the choices I make to workout and how hard I want to be a healthier, fit version of myself. I've been on this journey for over a year and once I am back on track consistently, I am the happiest version of myself that everyone seems to notice. So, I invite you to stick around and to cheer me on as I lose this weight. I encourage you if you are thinking of shedding some pounds to go for it, it truly makes a difference in a variety of areas: you sleep better, you have more energy, you're not as stressed, you just enjoy life more when you're trying to work hard for something you want. Hard work pays off and I hope you'll stick around.

PART 2
The other news that I didn't share on Facebook & let's be frank, I don't think I want to share anymore on Facebook other than occasional updates because it just feels too crammed in and I don't feel like people respect me on there when I am sharing a huge part of me. So, from here on out- my updates, my check-ins, my pictures of progress will be on here.  Because I enjoy writing, so it makes it easier to transition into my other news.

I have a Kindle, which isn't news. Something that Amazon offers is the opportunity to independently publish with them. As in, ever since I was 16, I've wanted to write and publish my first book.- its been in the top 5 on my Bucket List. So, I am working on and developing my book which its main purpose and goal is to encourage women of all ages. Probably leaning more towards demographically 13-49, but you never know. Even if its not a bestseller in New York, this is my dream to publish my writing and I am really excited for the opportunity. I am still like I said developing my book and just started but as I have updates, I will be posting them here too.

Well, this one is going to enjoy watching more Bones *I'm addicted to this show!* & my workout on before the night ends. Tomorrow is the series finale of The Office, I've watched it since Day 1 so I know tomorrow night, I will be crying... in a good way. :)

Have a blessed night, and thanks in advance for your support and encouragement! :) ~Jessica